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Epilogues
Epilogues is the twenty-first and final episode of Red vs. Blue: Season 15. It aired on August 20, 2017, for FIRST members and August 27, 2017, for the general public. It is the 324th episode overall. Characters Reds and Blues *Sarge *Grif *Simmons *Donut *Tucker *Caboose *Carolina *Doc *Lopez *Sister *Washington *Church Blues and Reds *Temple *Loco *Cronut *Buckey Interstellar Daily *Dylan Andrews *Jax Jonez *James Adler (Mentioned only) *Carlos Trabka (Voice only) Chorus *Smith *Bitters *Palomo *Jensen *Dr. Grey *Kimball (Mentioned only) UNSC *UNSC Police Other *V.I.C. *Hollywood Executive (Voice only) Plot The Reds and Blues grow shocked upon seeing Church in the time portal, who in turn is also surprised to see them, expressing his confusion. As Caboose approaches the portal, Tucker tells him to pull Church through but Caboose decides against this. He instead tells Church that he always felt that he was cool and while he never initially imagined a world without him, he has learned to accept his death and says goodbye. As Church grows more confused and angry, the time portal closes and the machine goes haywire. Wondering how they'll stop it, Jax suggests they use a heroic sacrifice, prompting V.I.C. to volunteer. As a result, Dylan uploads him into the machine. Vic successfully manages to stabilize it but at the cost of his own life. He then makes a final speech about heroism (somewhat similar to Epsilon's) and threatens to hurt anyone who backed him up, before being destroyed. The machine powers down, zaps Donut, and suddenly disappears, much to everyone's confusion. Tucker then notices Temple trying to sneak off and stops him with the intent of killing him for everything he's caused. Carolina and Doc, however, suddenly appear. Carolina convinces Tucker not to kill him, stating that they only kill if they have to. Tucker begrudgingly complies and instead punches Temple out cold. Outside, Sister (who was on Chorus for business) and the lieutenants of Chorus arrive at the Power Facility and reunite with the Reds and Blues, with Sister embracing her brother Dexter in a hug. Jensen informs them that Dr. Grey was able to help Washington and he's recovering well, although they don't know who delivered him to the hospital. The group then decides to relax and get some food. Meanwhile, Dylan thanks Jax for sticking by her and asks to read his next script once it's finished. Jax reciprocates his thanks, saying he'll never forget their adventure together. Inside her now damaged ship, Dylan informs her boss, Carlos, that she has finished her story. Although Carlos initially expresses his joy he quickly becomes aggravated after Dylan tells him the condition of the ship as well as his nephew Jax. Dylan then makes a speech about her view on the Reds and Blues, stating that while they don't possess the typical attributes of a hero, their uniqueness and ability to overcome makes them the greatest heroes the galaxy has ever seen. She then proceeds to answer a call from her husband James. In a few post-credit scenes, UNSC Police serve fish to an imprisoned Temple, Buckey, and Cronut. Jax pitches a script about the Reds and Blues to a Hollywood executive. In the past, Church expresses his complete confusion of the portal and declares to never speak of it again, before returning to Blue Base. Transcript As DYLAN, JAX, and the Blood Gulch Crew stare in shock, CABOOSE slowly turns to see CHURCH standing on the other side of the portal, in Blood Gulch from all those years ago. Church: What the FUCK guys?! I came up here for some peace and quiet! Dylan: (shocked) What on Earth is happening? Jax: (scoffing) Loco's machine opened a portal to the past! Jeez, Dylan, try to keep up. Tucker: Oh, no-freakin'-way! Loco: (last gasps) Hurry! Hurry, Caboose... you don't... have... long... herk, blergh! CABOOSE slowly approaches the portal. Tucker: Caboose! Pull him through! Caboose: No, Tucker. I... I know what I need to do. Church: Seriously, what the fuck is happening right now? Is there something in the water? Caboose: Church... Church, there's a lot of things I never got to say, and... I know I won't get another chance to say them, so: I think you are cool. Like, super awesome, amazing cool and... I, I always felt like really awesome too, when we were hanging out together. You know, I never really felt sad...when you died, because–– Church: What do you mean when I died?! CABOOSE shushes CHURCH by putting a finger against his visor through the portal (hello animation contrast). Caboose: 'Shh, shh, sh. ''(on the verge of tears) I-I never felt sad when you died because I couldn't imagine a world without you. But I know it's real. I... I know. And I'm sad. Things...things really aren't okay without you. But I know with my other friends––who, even if you add them all up together aren't really cool as you––I know we're all gonna be okay. (firmer) I know we're all gonna be okay. (with finality) I know we're all gonna be okay. Go back to heaven now, Church. And say hello to Loco when you get there. He was alright too. The portal closes on CHURCH as he speaks. '''Church: All right! Which one of you asshats wants to tell me what the fuck is going on right now? As soon as it closes, the machine begins to overload. Sarge: What in the name of Patton's gray ghost was that?! Simmons: I don't know if we're gonna be around long enough to parse together a theory! Dylan: We're out of time! We need to do something! Tucker: Like what? Shoot it? Beat. Jax: Oh! No, we need a sacrifice! Dylan: Shut up, Jax. Jax: No, listen! That's how this always works! One of us needs to heroically sacrifice themselves while giving an emotional monologue! Sarge: Dammit, he's right! Dylan: What? Tucker: Sarge! Sarge: But who's willing to lay down their life to save everyone else...? Grif: Not it! Simmons: (immediately) Not it! Tucker: NO ONE NEEDS TO MAKE A HEROIC SACRIFICE! V.I.C.: Yo-yo-yo! Did I just hear the words "heroico sacrificico"? Tucker: Ah, goddammit! Dylan: V.I.C.! Vic, I know it's a long shot, but it appears this machine has some computer systems. Can you try to acc–– V.I.C.: Ya ya ya! And this is Wish Number... uh... uh... Dylan: Wish Number Three! The last one. Now go! V.I.C. quickly downloads into the system. He appears on a screen. V.I.C.: Oh boy! Hey guys! Hey du-didilly-do! I've never seen a system like this one before! Dylan: Can you stop it?! V.I.C.: No way! NO WAY! BUT MAYBE I CAN STABILIZE IT! I'LL GIVE IT A TRY, '''DUUDEEERRRIIINOOO...!!!' ''As the machine overloads, time stops, and a dial tone plays. There is a brief moment of only static. Then... V.I.C.: Dudes, dudettees, and duderinos! If you're hearing this message, that's because I can't get to the phone right now. It also means I had to erasemy cebasa to save all of y'all. Yerrr welcome! Your old buddy Vic only has one more thing to say to you dudes... An 8-bit version of "Contact (Final Transmission)" begins to play as a frozen shot of the Reds and Blues plays. Boy, this sure looks and sounds familiar. V.I.C.: You know, there are so many stories where some brave hero steps up and goes and gives their lives to save the day. And because of it, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer hurray! and everybody lives happily ever after. EXCEPT FOR VIC! Oh yeah! I'm out of here! Leave a message after the beep, compadres! But I won't check it, because I'm in the eternal infinity! This is 5-5-5 V-I-C-K signing off! He appears one last time on screen. V.I.C.: (threatening) And if anybody backed me up, I will punch you in the nuts. Time resumes. The machine seems to turn off. Tucker: Did he do it? Dylan: He did...something... The machine begins to crackle with electricity. A bolt flies out and briefly hits DONUT with its charge. Donut: (giggling) Whoah! It tickles! E-he-he-whoaaa! The noise grows loud...and then the machine anticlimactically simply pops out of existence, leaving no trace of it behind. Grif: Does someone wanna explain what the fuck just happened? Tucker: We uh...we won! I think? He turns in time to see TEMPLE trying to sneak away. He angrily approaches him and draws his sword. TEMPLE freezes in place. Tucker: This is for Wash, you piece of shit... CAROLINA and DOC approach. Carolina: Tucker, stop. Tucker: Oh, come on! Now you show up? Carolina: Don't kill him. Temple: (terrified) I-I think she makes a great point, Tucker! Tucker: But he deserves it more than anyone! He's a killer! Carolina: And so are we. But we're a different sort, Tucker. We only fight and take lives when we have to. And you don't have to this time. Temple: Yeah, Tucker! If you kill me, you'll just perpetuate this never-ending cycle of revenge and retaliation! (attempting to segue into monologue mode) My friends will avenge me! Tucker: (sly) What friends? TEMPLE has no response as he looks around, lost. Temple: I...uh... TUCKER raises his sword. Temple: No, nononono! Don't please...! Just as he swings it down, TUCKER retracts the sword and instead punches TEMPLE out cold. Tucker: Dickhead. Fade to the shore, where the Lieutenants from Chorus have arrived in a ship, meeting the Reds and Blues there. Smith: Did somebody call for backup? Palomo: Aww, we didn't miss the party, did we? Tucker: Hey! Look who finally showed up. Grif: Just in time to mop up another one of our messes. Sister: (offscreen) ''Big bro? Is that you?! ''GRIF looks and sees SISTER running down the gangplank towards him. Sister: Dex?! Grif: Aw, hell... what are you doing here? Sister: I was on Chorus for business when these weirdos got your call. They let me tag along! Grif: Business?! Oh god, do I need to confiscate your webcams again?! Sister: Bitch, shut up and hug me! SISTER hugs GRIF. After a moment, he returns the hug. Jensen: Oh! You'll be happy to know Dr. Grey has Washington alive and recovering! Carolina: Oh, that's music. Tucker: Oh, thank Christ. Palomo: Oh, he asked us to deliver an important message to you all. But then he just sang the DuckTales theme song and fell back to sleep. (singing DuckTales) A-woo-oo! Smith: President Kimball has questions about his delivery to Chorus. Apparently, no one at DD General can figure out how he ended up at the hospital in the first place. Simmons: (awkward) That's a, hrm, a long story... Uh, maybe don't worry her with it right now. Dylan: But I have a feeling her relationship with the UNSC will get a little easier after we file the final story. Simmons: How about V.I.C., huh? Sarge: Amen. The least we owe our fallen comrade here is a moment of respectful silence... Barely a moment. Sarge: (quickly) Anyway, who's hungry? Simmons: I'm peckish. I could eat. Tucker: I could go for some grub. Grif: I could eat a horse! Carolina: With you, I'm worried that's not a figure of speech... Grif: That's a figure of speech? Simmons: What the fuck is wrong with you? Grif: Whatever. Are we done here? Because I've got some volleyballs to spike in this fucking volcano. Cut to DYLAN and JAX alone on a rock. Dylan: Job well done, Jax. Nothing left to do but post this bad boy. Jax: And read all the comment threads! Dylan: Any idea what you'll do when the dust settles? Back to film school? Jax: Well, I don't know. Gotta say, this whole thing did give me a wicked idea for a movie! Dylan: (truthfully) Send me the script when it's done, will ya? I'd love to check it out. Jax: Of course! Dylan: And uh...good job, partner. Jax: Dylan... you know I'll never forget this, right? (thousand-yard stare) I mean, PTSD is forever, isn't it? Cut to DYLAN in the crashed remains of her ship. She is talking on a sliplink with CARLOS TRABKA. Dylan: (cheerfully) Hi Carlos, guess who...? Carlos: (passive-aggressively cheerful) Dylan Andrews, that's whooo! I'm so excited. How are you? Dylan: I'm well! How are you? Carlos: Well, after you stole my ship and went missing with my nephew, I did have somewhat of a breakdown. But I'm fine now! The doctors have me on horse tranquilizers, and I feel like a fluffy soft load of laundry! Hehehehehe! Please, please, Dylan! Enough about me! How are you doing? Dylan: Great! The assignment's all finished. Carlos: Ooohh, that's wonderful news! I never doubted you for a single solitary second! Tell me: Dylan, how is my nephew? Dylan: He's good! His bullet wounds are healing nicely! Carlos: (starting to crack) B-bullet...did you say his wounds? Wounds as in...p-p-plural? Dylan: Yeah! Multiple gunshot wounds! He's in much better shape than your ship, though! This thing is totaled. Carlos: My ship is totaled. (more cracks) My shiiii''iiiii''...doesn't matter! Does not matter. You know what really matters? The story! Did you get the story! DYLAN's sliplink starts to ring. It's her husband JAMES ADLER. Dylan: Yes, but it'll have to wait. Someone is finally returning my call. Carlos: (finally breaking) I'M NOT WAITING! Don't you dare hang up on me, alright?! I'm not above putting a contract out on your stinky filthy pencil-headed little life, Dylan! AHAHAHAHA...! Dylan: (like V.I.C.) Yo, dude! Take a chill pill! I don't have the bandwidth for the full feed, but I can at least send you the wrap-up while I take this. Carlos: You listen to me! I'm talking–– DYLAN hangs up and takes JAMES's call. Dylan: Hi James... We cut to a shot of the Reds and Blues and the Lieutenants staring off into the sunset. Dylan: (voiceover) When I first described the Reds and Blues, I called them heroes. That may have been premature. What I've come to understand after spending time with them is that they're more than that. They're stupid...and arrogant...and lazy...and selfish...and stubborn. None of the qualities any reasonable person would call heroic. As DYLAN continues to talk, we pan over shots of, in order: the retirement base, Desert Gulch, Armonia, Sidewinder, the abandoned city, and the underwater lair. Dylan: What the Reds and Blues have taught me is that...it's not the sum of your parts that makes you who you are. It's not what you're endowed with, not your intelligence or strength, but what you hold onto throughout the hardest trials of life. These people have shown me that real heroes are not born, they're forged. A friend told me once that there's no fate but what you make. And I think he's right. We get a shot of GRIF and SIMMONS next to each other. Dylan: What makes a hero is their ability to choose light over darkness. A shot of SARGE. Dylan: To walk through fire and not be burned. A shot of LOPEZ's head at the bottom of the ocean. Dylan: To fall from great heights and not be broken. A shot of DR. GREY looking at WASHINGTON lying on a table. Dylan: To be changed and reborn and be better for it again and again. A shot of CABOOSE. Dylan: It's who you become when you lose someone close. A shot of TUCKER and CAROLINA. Dylan: When the world stops making sense, when you're thrust into responsibility that you never asked for. And a shot of Blood Gulch. Dylan: That's what makes a hero...and that's what makes the Reds and Blues some of the greatest our universe has ever seen. One last shot of the Reds and Blues on the island. Dylan: This has been Dylan Andrews, Interstellar Daily. Credits. Mid-Credits Scene 1 Two PRISON GUARDS walks through the cells. They approach one containing TEMPLE, CRONUT, and BUCKEY. Prison Guard: Mealtime! (chuckling) Something special for you guys. Temple: (annoyed) Let me guess... A plate of fish is left for them. Temple: (sighing) ''Awesome. Mid-Credits Scene 2 ''JAX is in some HOLLYWOOD EXECUTIVE's (who is offscreen) office. There are some movie posters in the background, for films called ''Black Twins: Origins, Episode CCXIX, and Gunshooter V: Shooter of Guns. On the desk is a huge binder stacked full of paper.'' Jax: And then Temple says, "Revenge is a dish best served frozen," and he freezes them right in their armor! Hollywood Executive: (interested) Alright, alright! Skip to the end now, how does it all wrap up? Jax: Well, you'll just have to read the script to find out. All 311 pages. Hollywood Executive: Hard to believe this all really happened! Jax: It's all true! Every single word...for the most part. I took some dramatic license with the movie references, oh, just a few plot points here and there, but that's the gist of it, you know, the gist of it!...more or less. Hollywood Executive: Well, our studio hasn't made an original movie in a few hundred years, but we might be interested! You shopping this around at all? Jax: Listen, Pete! I got offers all over Tinseltown for this spec, but if you're looking for something else, I could tell you about a little movie called Moon Doom... Post-Credits CHURCH stands on the cliff, staring at the portal closing. Church: ...what the actual fuck? Alright, well, I'm just gonna try to forget that ever happened and never bring it up again. The end. Gallery Reds and Blues and machine.png Grifs hug.png Trivia *This episode title, Epilogues, being plural could represent Caboose's meeting with Church acting as an epilogue to Season 13, as it had ended on a cliffhanger, in addition to being the epilogue for this season. *Church's appearance in the past may indicate his place of time takes some time between The Rookies and Head Noob in Charge, before Donut arrives at Blue Base and his first death. *Vic's farewell speech is intended to be a homage to Epsilon's own farewell message in The End. *After ten seasons, Sister is finally reunited with Grif, whom she hasn't seen since Why Were We Here? *It is revealed that Locus dropped off Wash at the General Doyle hospital on Chorus, without being spotted, after the events of Desolation. *Despite appearing with the group initially, Donut and Doc don't appear in the last few shots with the rest of the Reds and Blues. *It is revealed that the Reds did end up throwing Lopez in the ocean in Red vs Red, though he's indicated to have survived being in the water, during Dylan's final narration. *In one of the post credits scenes, Cronut is revealed to be alive, being present in the UNSC prison with Temple and Buckey. Lorenzo and Gene, however, are not present, leaving their fates unknown. *During the end credits a song, titled VelociROCKtor, from the band Tucker, Grif, Caboose, and Carolina formed during their retirement is performed. This is Carolina's first musical number. *This is the first finale episode to have more than one post credit scene. Video Category:Season 15 Category:Episodes